How to Agree to Disagree with Your Ex’s Parenting Style

 Posted on May 16, 2014 in Divorce

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Can’t Agree on Property Division? Consider a Divorce Yard Sale

 Posted on May 12, 2014 in Asset Division

One of the most acrimonious parts of a divorce can be the negotiations regarding how the marital assets are going to be divided. Even the friendliest of divorces can suddenly turn nasty over a piece of who is going to get a certain piece of furniture, book collection, paintings, etc.

The NY Daily News recently reported a story about one divorcing couple who, after a few years of fighting over how several hundred dollars’ worth of items should be divided between the two of them, are holding a "divorce yard sale." The couple will be auctioning off furniture, cars, clothing, jewelry, paintings and antiques. Selling off items that are part of a marital estate and splitting the proceeds is not uncommon. It is not only for people who are involved in high-asset divorce cases. Any couple who has items that they jointly own may decide to sell those items if they cannot reach an agreement as to who should retain ownership of which items. Depending on the value and number of the items you are looking to sell, there are several options to getting the most amount of money for your items. If you have antiques to sell, then you should contact an antiques appraiser/dealer to find out what the worth of these items is. A dealer may also be able to help find a buyer for the items. It is also probably in your best interest to have the items appraised by more than one dealer. If you have many items to sell, contact estate sale company to coordinate the sale. These companies will help coordinate how your items are marketed, selling large ticket items separately and dividing the smaller items into "lots" which multiple items sold together. Consignment shops are a great place to sell items like clothing and smaller household items, such cookware and decorating items. If you would rather not have to deal with transporting these items to the shop, there are online sites where you can also post these items for sale. On Ebay.com, your item is posted for a limited amount of time and interested parties can bid on it, just like in an auction. At the end of the auction – typically 3 to 5 days – the highest bidder wins the item. All transactions are done online and delivery is done through shipping.

Locally, Craigslist.com allows  you to list the items you have for sale online and determine cost and delivery/pickup method. It’s similar to having an online yard sale by putting you in touch with people who may be interested in your property.

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Half of Internationally Adopted Children Born in Asia

 Posted on May 09, 2014 in Adoption

Deciding to adopt a child is an intensely personal decision. In some cases, parents attempt to adopt a child from within the United States, preferring a child who is culturally similar to themselves. A newly released census report shows this is not always the case, however.

According to USA Today, two percent of the 64.8 million children in the United States are adopted. Of those, thirteen percent were adopted from foreign countries, mostly within Asia. Interestingly, the rate of international adoptions increased by 12 percent from 2000 to 2010, and 28 percent of all adopted children were adopted by a family whose race was different from their own. In fact, 37 percent of children whose adoptive families were of a different ethnicity were born outside of the U.S. The article states that there has long been an interest in international adoptions in the United States, particularly by wealthier families. In fact, foreign-born adopted children were found to be more likely to live in households with incomes at or above $100,000/yr when compared to to U.S.-born adoptees. Pediatrician Jane Aronson told USA Today that this may be because families with higher incomes are more inclined to help children from poorer countries. This may also be due, in part, to the expense associated with international adoptions. Naturally, adopting a stepchild or a child who was born and currently resides in the U.S. will cost less than adopting a child from a foreign country. The travel expenses alone make international adoptions prohibitive for less wealthy families. Whether international or domestic, adoption can be a difficult and at times confusing process. It is always best in these situations to have a qualified family law attorney on your side to help you through the process. If you are hoping to adopt a child in Illinois, contact A. Traub & Associates today for a consultation. They can ensure that your adoption proceeds as smoothly as possible so that you and your new child can begin building memories as soon as possible.

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Keeping Discipline on an Even Keel: Finding a Balance for Adoptive Parents

 Posted on April 29, 2014 in Adoption

Twisting and turning through the daily challenges of blending the lives of your adopted and biological children can certainly add a few new ones along the way. One being the subject of how to discipline and keep your household functioning on an even keel. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, finding a healthy balance is essential. For parents in this situation there is a certain disconnect when it comes to disciplining a blended family dynamic. There is a tendency for parents to hesitate to discipline an adopted child while setting fewer limitations on their biological offspring. This situation may also hinge on whether your adopted child has behavioral issues due to underlying issues. Each of your children are unique. Following these simple suggestions may define the house rules for all involved and keep you from second guessing your decision to choose adoption to grow your biological family. House Rules Involve your children in the rulemaking process. Provide them the opportunity to set a few rules or provide input to the rules you have established. Just remember to define rules according to the individual child's age. You may notice that since they have participated in the process, they will accept the new rules with less conflict. Consequences Just as you provided your children the opportunity to set the rules, give them the same opportunity to define the possible consequences when the rules are broken. Once again, consequences should be age appropriate. Consistency As parents, you also need to remember not to deviate from the rules or consequences. The rules are the rules, no ifs, ands or buts! Giving in every once in a while will only tempt your children to test the limits. Seems easy, right? Perhaps easier said than done. As the ruling executive branch of the household how you discipline is your choice but some of the following may assist with establishing a well-rounded discipline program. Time-out

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Infidelity: A Leader in the Divorce Blame Game

 Posted on April 25, 2014 in Divorce

Cheating, even the word brings to the forefront the realization of broken promises and deep emotional pain for the afflicted spouse. According to a recent Fox News article, the instances of married couples who cheat is on the rise. Fox also points out that although communication is the leading contributor to couples contacting a divorce attorney, infidelity ranks number two on the break-up countdown. So how does the experts define infidelity and will your cheating spouse's transgressions affect your plans to initiate divorce proceedings?

Defining Infidelity

With the ever expanding internet and social media accessibility, defining the act of infidelity has become a bit clouded. The Infidelity Facts website reports that the opportunity presents itself in at least 47 percent of all marriages. With sexting in the picture accompanied by remote sex sites, there is difficulty calculating a valid divorce infidelity connection. For those cheaters engaging in the physical act, the definition becomes clearer.

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New Study Links Social Media to Infidelity and Divorce

 Posted on April 23, 2014 in Divorce

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Complaining about Your Ex Publicly Could Affect Your Divorce Settlement

 Posted on April 19, 2014 in Divorce

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Initiating Divorce: Who Makes the Call?

 Posted on April 10, 2014 in Divorce

Divorce is a common peril for almost 50 percent of all American couples. When we hear about a recent "conscious uncoupling" we assume the wife is responsible for placing the call to an experienced divorce attorney. Our assumption would have been correct.

According to the Centers for Disease Control, National Center for Health Statistics, 65 percent of all divorce proceedings are initiated by the wife. In states such as Illinois, when introducing no-fault divorce, rates jumped as high as 70 percent. If we learned anything from John Gray's, Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Venus, we are quite aware that there are fundamental differences between women and men. Women tend to view things at a more emotional level and perhaps the following, offered by Willard F. Harley, Jr., Ph.D. can categorize the feelings behind a woman's decision to dissolve her marriage: "I hurt all the time because I feel alone and abandoned."

"My husband is no longer my friend."

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The Perils of Adoption: Advice for Prospective Parents

 Posted on April 07, 2014 in Adoption

According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, adoption is the process whereby a person assumes parenting for another and, in doing so, permanently transfers all rights and responsibilities, along with filiation, from the biological parent or parents.

In many cases all goes well with the process and integration of the adopted child into a thriving and loving family. So much so that the Adoption USA: National Survey of Adoptive Parents, supports that 81 percent of parents have established a "very warm and close" relationship with their adopted son or daughter. But what happens when  adoption turns out not to be the idyllic family portrait you were hoping for? The most infamous case was that of the young Russian boy who was returned to homeland by his adoptive mother. Another case highlights a former attorney from Spokane, Washington who after much concerted effort decided to place her adopted child, originally from Haiti, up for adoption to preserve the safety of her two younger children. ABC News', senior health and medical editor, Dr. Richard Besser agrees that these cases are heartbreaking, but atypical. Besser reports that 80 to 90 percent of all adoptions are successful and offers the following advice for parents considering adoption: Adjustment Period – take time to let your child relax and become familiar with the family routine. It takes a period of time to determine if any disruptions are due to adjustment issues or if the situation is hindered by a medical or psychological disorder. Realistic Expectations – for parents considering adoption, do not place high expectations on your child from the very beginning. For those children being adoptive from foreign countries, the majority of these children were institutionalized and may need a longer adjustment period. Do Your Homework – before finalizing the adoption, take the time and effort to research and learn as much about your child as possible. Come to know all of the circumstances of their "former" life and then adjust your expectations based on your findings. Rely on a Strong Support Network – enlist family and friends. Join an organized support group and seek out community based services available to families of adoptive children. Besser also recommends using a pediatrician experienced with adopted children. Raising a child, either biological or adopted is a lifelong challenge. No one can predict the outcome or the trials and tribulations along the way. It takes love, compassion, patience and guidance. For the majority of adopted children they will thrive in their environment but for those who have deeper issues that hinder growth development and evoke social and cognitive disorders we can only hope that one day they will find their way. As for the parents who tried we can only applaud their endless effort. If you are considering adoption and reside in the Lombard or Arlington Heights communities, the adoption attorneys of A. Traub & Associates understand your legal and emotional concerns. We are experienced in both domestic and international adoption and can guide you through the process with finalization within a few months. Adoption takes a strong commitment and we understand you also need a strong committed legal team with you every step of the way. For more information on how A. Traub & Associates can help you, contact us at 630-426-0196 for an affordable consultation today.

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Same Channel Different Time: Quick Tips for Remarrying Your Ex

 Posted on March 31, 2014 in Divorce

This command performance may not guarantee you a gold star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, but if considering marrying your former spouse, you would be sharing center stage with the likes of Liz Taylor; Marie Osmond; NeNe Leakes, Pink and even Judge Judy, just to name a few.

Will it be a marriage of infinite syndication? Probably not. Psychology Today reports that over 60 percent of all repeat marriages are prone to cancellation. Evidence shows that repeat marriages fail quicker than the premiere episode. Lois Tarter, author of The Divorce Ritual and contributor to the Huffington Post, believes there are a few steps to be taken when contemplating Act II with your former spouse.

• Time – take it. Make sure all emotional wounds have healed. Confront and resolve any outstanding issues before the anticipated wedding date;

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