Posted on November 30, 2013 in Divorce

Illinois law directly acknowledges that neither separation nor divorce should affect either party’s parental rights or responsibilities, unless the court finds a good reason to do so.  However, the top priority for family courts in this state is to ensure that custody arrangements are in the best interest of the child or children involved.  In determining the best interest of the child, courts look to many different factors, such as:

• The wishes of the parents;

• The wishes of the child;

• The nature of the child’s relationships with each parent and siblings;

• The mental and physical health of each parent;

• The child’s adjustment to new home or school environments;

• The possible threat of abuse by a parent;

• The parent’s willingness to encourage the child’s ongoing relationship with the other parent.

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 Posted on November 25, 2013 in Divorce

Everyone had a different experience growing up. Whether you had one parent, two parents, or another legal guardian, your childhood was unique. Recently, there has been a rise in a new kind of family unit, one where grandparents are the primary caregivers of their grandkids.

A new research study by US2010, a project that is reviewing changes in American society, uncovered this news. The ongoing research is managed by sociologist John Logan and funded by Brown University and the Russell Sage Foundation. Their data showed that over 7.5 million children in the United States lived with their grandparents in 2011. That averages to one in every ten children across our nation.

The factors that have lead to this increase over the last 25 years are vast. AARP expert on multi generational and family issues, Amy Goyer, cited the recession as the primary cause. It is mutually beneficial for many generations to share housing costs and other expenses. Grandparents are cheap and easy babysitters that can allow parents to work longer hours and keep a better portion of their paychecks. There are other contributing factors such as:

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 Posted on November 22, 2013 in Asset Division

People often consider pets to be family members.  That deep affection means that cats and dogs can be sore subjects during divorce cases.  Who should have custody of the family pet when they family has split?  The fact is that legally, pets are often looked at as property when dividing assets during a divorce.  There are certain facts that can be influence the decision of where Fido ends up.

The owner of the pet is often given precedence in any pet custody case.  It is similar to the determination of separate property or marital property.   If the pet was purchased before the marriage, then it may be considered a separate asset not subject to division.  But the initial purchase won’t be the only way to pay for a pet; there are also considerations about who pays for the pet&s food and medical expenses.

The other way that custody is decided is based on who provides care for the animal, much like when determining child custody.  That could mean that the person who takes the animal to the vet or the person who takes the animal for walks can have an easier time claiming pet custody.  Another way to show who the primary caregiver of a pet is who cares for the animal during the split.

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 Posted on November 18, 2013 in Guardianships

The idea of both you and your spouse dying before your young children become adults may seem unfathomable.  Every day, however, illness or accidents leave children without a parent.  If you have not chosen a guardian, the courts would determine guardianship.  The courts may not choose the person you would have chosen.  Do not risk this scenario.  Using guidelines and proper legal counsel can make the decision easier.

Who Do I Choose?

Choosing a family member may seem like the natural choice but it may not always be the right choice. You should weigh the suitability of your family members as you would any potential guardian.  Here are some things to consider when determining a potential guardian:

• Do they share your religious beliefs?  If not, would they be willing to support the religious choice you have made for your children?

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 Posted on November 14, 2013 in Divorce

With a large number of divorced parents remaining in conflict, many children are at risk for psychosocial problems.  One of these problems is parental alienation.  Parental alienation is a situation where a child exhibits an unjustified anger or distain for a parent due to the vilifying of that parent to the child by the other parent.  The noncustodial parent is typically the target.

Clearly, the target parent is being harmed.  Their relationship with the child is being damaged and the time lost with that child can never be regained.  But parental alienation has consequences to the child as well.  According to information Our Family Wizard, parental alienation can be a factor in psychological and behavioral issues for the child, including drug and alcohol abuse, eating disorders, mood disorders, depression, anxiety, and panic attacks.

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 Posted on November 11, 2013 in Divorce

Marriage and Family Therapist Virginia Gilbert says that there are many symptoms of PTSD that affect divorcing and divorced individuals. An afflicted person might have health issues, nightmares, obsessive thoughts, and generalized anxiety that presents as hyper vigilance. When there is extra tension or a history of violence in your relationship, it’s not uncommon for the emotional stress to manifest physically.

Gilbert has tips for those in these types of situations. She states that it’s vital to focus on what you can control. If your ex is abusive, struggling with an alcohol or drug addiction, or mentally ill, you can create high levels of anxiety by worrying constantly about what he or she might do. Instead, focus on the fact that your choice to get a divorce is what is best for you, and keep reminding yourself about what’s in your realm of control and what is not.

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 Posted on November 07, 2013 in Divorce

These days, digital dating is becoming more popular every day. According to the Pew Research Center, one in ten Americans has made use of an online dating site or mobile application. Especially if you are recently separated or divorced, online dating can reduce some of the anxiety about getting back into the dating world.

Online dating is certainly not new anymore, but as it becomes used more widely across multiple generations, it’s helpful to have a few tips in the back of your mind to make the most out of your experience. Follow this advice to get your feet wet in the world of online dating:

Take Time To Get To Know Someone

Some people might want to meet relatively quickly, or even the same day you exchange emails. Since you’re just putting yourself out there again, give yourself some time to get to know them. This will increase your comfort level when you are ready to meet. Make sure the first meeting is in a public place, and that a friend knows where you&re at

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 Posted on November 03, 2013 in Divorce

It is often thought if a marriage lasts ten years or longer, the likelihood of divorce is less. However, according to a report in the Huffington Post, a few factors can challenge marriages that have lasted decades.

 Nothing in Common

After the children have left home for college, many couples feel that they don’t have much in common anymore. The marriage is now less about parenting and more about being friends and companions. This is where the true connection between the couple is bared and unfortunately, sometimes there is not enough there to keep both spouses in the relationship.

 Feelings of Wasted Time

What we hear about midlife crises is true. There may be a traumatic event or just a sudden realization that life is too short to continue in a marriage that is not working. There are times when there has been so much going on inside of the marriage that the spouses have simply grown apart. There doesn’t necessarily have to be fault in this situation. Often, one spouse wants to work things out while the other feels that divorce is the best option.

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 Posted on October 29, 2013 in Family Law

Assuming that prenuptial agreements are only being used by those individuals with extreme wealth is a mistake. A survey conducted by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers demonstrates the increasing requests family attorneys are getting to draft these documents.

Of the attorneys surveyed, two-thirds reported seeing an increase in the number of prenuptial agreements completed in the past three years, but nearly half also noted that there are more women requesting the documents these days. The shift in awareness and requesting behavior could be due to a higher level of financial awareness on behalf of both men and women; being shaken by the recent economic collapse might clue people in to what they have to lose as well as make them more conscious about how to protect it.

The same attorneys participating in the survey remarked that the top three issues most often covered in prenuptial agreements were alimony, separate property, and division of property. Other recent research has indicated that more people believe that prenuptial agreements are a crucial component of pre-wedding plans, however unromantic they may seem.

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 Posted on October 25, 2013 in Adoption

Doug and Chris Maulden-Locke, from Virginia, moved from Maryland and then back to Virginia again during the process of adoption. The couple waited to get through the pre-adoption background checks for eight months before finding a baby in just 10 days. The couple had to go before a Maryland judge for the final adoption approval, a process that has been challenging for same-sex couples before. With the unique nature of pursuing adoption as a same-sex couple, hiring an adoption attorney is more important than ever.

In some jurisdictions around the country, it’s rare for judges to approve adoptions where same-sex couples are involved. Slowly, however, judges and jurisdictions are paving the way for these individuals to bring a new child into the homes of loving parents. Although decisions used to be made on a judge-by-judge basis, the greater cultural trend of valuing the potential societal value of qualified same-sex adopted parents is making it easier for these couples to grow their families.

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